Making choices is something you really can’t escape; because the little suckers follow you everywhere you go. Choose to have fun today, well, you have to make up for it by working twice as hard tomorrow. Choose to go with a six carat ring instead of twelve, you have to hear about that one for as long as you live. Choose your landing page copy to be serious and corporate, you can’t make it upbeat and friendly too.
The hardest thing about making these choices is that you really don’t know how your decision is going to turn out while you’re making it. And while some things are just no-brainers like going for the more expensive ring, things like deciding what kind of copy you put on your landing page is actually quite a head scratcher.
It’s not like the good old days where one could just get two opponents to battle it out and simply go for the one who’s left standing in the end. No matter how much you would like it to be, your life isn’t set in Westeros or in Rome – but, just think how much fun it would be if it were (apart from the poor healthcare of course).
While I have rambled on for quite some time, what I’m trying to say here is pretty simple – we can talk all we want about adding this and tweaking that in our landing page copy – but, the real winner can’t really be determined until we have in front of us examples of real landing page copy and then we can see for ourselves which one survives the battle.
So, that’s what we are going to do today, have an old fashion battle with different examples of landing page copy. We’ll have three opponents, all of whom will be facing my merciless whip, and I’ll evaluate whether their copy is something that should inspire you to write your own copy or is something you should diss.
My first thought after seeing the copy is what I am pretty sure was your first thought too, are they selling real estate? Because all the talk of an open house straight from the headline is confusing, when you think of open houses you don’t think of schools or institutes; you think of empty houses and stale homemade cookies.
The headline for sure needs a lot of work, in the absence of even a hint of context the mention of an open house is just bewildering. The headline needs to focus on the institute rather than the open house event, because only if I’m intrigued about the school will I ever go for an open house.
Another thing that worries me about the copy, or the body copy to be exact is its placement. The entire body copy comes under the form, the image and most importantly the call to action button.
How are they expecting someone to click on their CTA button if all the lines they’ve written to convince them are placed below it? The copy on the call to action isn’t that great as well, but at least it doesn’t have anything seriously wrong with it.
The best thing I like about this landing page is definitely the heartwarming image but we’re not talking about the images right now, so I won’t rave about it as much as I want.
Coming back to the copy, the headline “Double Your Impact” is nice but it too needs a bit of context, I mean I only get that I’m doubling my impact in providing water because I can see the organization’s name written at the top of the page. But, if we’re only to consider the headline alone, I’m left thinking, impact, what impact?
The body copy is pretty simple, it portrays what it is meant to portray which is give them donations. Though, a little more background on the organization would be helpful. The copy on the CTA button is nice though, I like the idea of the symbol of the card and PayPal.
Ignoring the fact that the page needs a bigger more impactful image I’m directly going to come to the headline. What’s DR? Using an acronym on your landing page is just like shooing away your visitors, I don’t know what DR is – and the image or the company name doesn’t really clarify that for me. Do they really expect me to Google DR and then continue with their page, because just under the headline we have another mention of the mysterious DR.
Always assume that your visitor knows nothing about what you do and what your product is and you have to sit and explain everything to them from the start. Because if you start using acronyms and jargon, especially in your headline your visitors will abandon your landing page for sure.
In the body copy I finally get to know what DR is when they hit me with another acronym, at least this time they explain what DRSP stands for. The copy is a little dry for my taste, I get that the service doesn’t really call for casual upbeat copy but that doesn’t mean that it has to be this dry. The copy on the CTA button is generic but that’s the whole vibe of this page. So, I guess the CTA fits in perfectly with the rest of the page then.
Your landing page copy is a very important element because it makes up most of your page, if you screw that up chances of recovery and conversions are very thin. Try to get it right, learn something from the landing pages above and perfect your landing page copy to be the best.